Friday, September 12, 2008

My newest nephew : The premature baby boy

I was having a slight headache out of insomnia due to internet oversurfing when I received a text message from my pregnant sister in JB:

"I kat puteri hosp ni. Just give birth to a baby boy due to heavy bleeding td. Doctor trus operate to save the baby."

My heart was like...stopped. Heavy bleeding? Operation?? What happen?????!!!!! I was shaking. This cannot be happening. It's my sister's 6th child and her 2nd baby boy. The pregnancy should be smooth and easy. I guess only Allah knows. It was around sahur that time and I had no appetite at all. Just a cup of nescafe and half slice of bread. I really wanted to call her but looking at the inappropriate time, I suppressed down the need for the answer of my question. Uuuu....it was so depressing. I was so worried.

I called her around 10 a.m just now. She told me what happened and I wept silently (what do you expect, I was in the office!) How would you feel if your sister told you she bled so much that she had to lie on her own pool of blood? Uuuuu....I am thankful that she is okay and the baby too. Do you know what my sister said about her baby?

"My baby nak sambut hari raya together dengan adik-beradik dia yang lain. That's why dia keluar sebelum raya."

I was half laughing and half crying. Well, he was suppose to come out around October. And now here he is, eager to see the world that he freaked out his mother and the entire family. Uuu...this is a new story in my family. Do you believe me when I said that I was crying thankfully while typing this post? It's a whole new story to tell our Mohd Darwish. Please be safe and may Allah bless you! Ganbaruyo!

Cepat-cepat sihat and smile for che su just like the baby in da picture, okay! =)


p/s: Right now, my little nephew is still in ICU. Please pray for his safety.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

work and Ramadhan

It's already the 11th day of Ramadhan. Honestly, this Ramadhan is not the same with my previous years. Maybe it's because the first time during my working age. Hahahaha. I don't know. But it's truly exhausting. I usually collapse before Isya' and will wake up at 4 to perform Isya' with terawih. Alone. It's not the same anymore. I know you guys will say it's just an excuse but seriously I'm easily tired nowadays. Dame! Dame! (read da-me--->it means cannot!) This cannot continue. I'm wasting the blessed month of the year (which may be the last one-well who knows) and I haven't done anything good so far! Argh....! It's pressuring!

Did I tell you that I went to see my nieces and nephews in JB like two days before Ramadhan? Oh my God! They were so adoreable and I miss them a lot. I don't know why but I love kids around their age (3-7 years old). Uuuu...maybe it's because I'm so used to be alone and the feeling to have a little brother/sister keeps gathering inside me. Hehehehehe...Fadh is so lucky to have a lot of sisters and brothers. Oh well! I could say that I'm lucky too. Well, just because I don't have little brother/sister, doesn't mean I can't pretend to have one right? Hehehehe.

My boss is pressuring me. A pile of work seems not enough that he keeps giving me another impossible-to-finish-in-time-given-task that I keep asking myself what is going on with this guy. I mean, if you're given another type of work at 4 on Thursday, what do you expect me to do? Finish it off in an hour and send it the next day? You've got to be kidding me. It's a simple work, yes. But it involves a lot of sources and I will need time to browse through just to find the raw data. And not to mention the period that he wants the data is to be from year 2000 and in quarter too. What the hell??????? It's almost 8 years and even Bank Negara's most recent data is from 2006. (Mc Rose tepuk dahi and geleng kepala.) I'm having headaches!!

Well, I guess, we have to really predict the unpredictables. Uuuuu....=(

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

kelebihan

Kadang-kadang Tuhan bagi kelebihan kepada kita sebab nak tengok sama ada kita bersyukur dengan nikmatnya atau tidak. Cantik ke, pandai ke, kaya ke, semuanya ada hikmah tersendiri dan bukannya untuk dibangga-banggakan. Masalahnya, manusia ni tak faham. Kalau Tuhan bagi kecantikan pada orang ni, adala yang dengkila...tak kurang yang kata..'ni buat pembedahan plastik ni. takkan cantik sampai macam tu skali.' pulak dah!. dah Tuhan nak bagi dia cantik, yang ko dengki tu apesal? Kena fikir positif. Kena baik sangka. Kalau kita selalu fikir kelebihan orang lain tu sebab dia buat sesuatu yang tak elok untuk dapat kelebihannya, kita akan selalu tidak puas hati. Kita akan selalu komen.




Sama jugak dengan orang yang pandai. Dah Tuhan bagi pandai kat orang tu, ko yang tak berapa nak pandai ni terima je la. Usaha la dengan cara yang lain supaya pandai macam dia. Yang ko pegi sabotaj diala, pegi santau dia la, ada ko jadi pandai macam dia jugak? Takde kan? Tuhan ni Maha Adil. Dia bagi orang ni kelebihan sebelah sini, dia akan bagi kelebihan pada ko sebelah lain pulak. Tak payah bimbang. Dengan syarat, ko tahu yang ko ni hamba Dia dan ko tahu apa yang patut ko buat untuk dapat rahmat Dia. Takkan kayanya ko dengan buat naya kat orang. Percayalah kataku!. Hidup jangan terlalu dengki ngan orang nanti kita takkan reti bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada. Tapi hidup kena ada sikit dengki ngan orang supaya kita akan belajar untuk improve diri kita. Pandai-pandai lah wasatiah yer.











Gambar minah dua orang ni takde kena mengena dengan entry aku. Saja je nak bagi korang semua tengok antara orang yang cantik. Gambar yang paling atas is a Taiwanese. Umur 22. The 2nd picture is a Mongolian. Kawai ne!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

hari sesat sedunia

sesat. sesat boleh membawa kepada pelbagai pengertian. sesat dalam kehidupan bukanlah bermakna kemana-mana sahaja anda pergi anda pasti sesat tapi lebih kepada hilang tujuan hidup. tapi entry ini bukanlah ingin menceritakan tentang orang-orang yang sesat dalam kehidupan atau yang sewaktu dengannya. tapi entry ini lebih kepada bercerita tentang kami yang bukan sahaja sesat untuk pergi ke majlis Lina, tetapi juga sesat di Sunway Pyramid hatta jalan balik ke rumah Muni.(walaupun kesesatan itu tidaklah nyata kerana tuan rumah mampu menunjukkan jalan balik ke rumahnya.)

Tension. Tanggal 21 June yang lalu memanglah hari sesat sedunia untuk aku, fadh, laa and muni. sesat. Dalam Sunway Pyramid tu pun boleh sesat. aku pun tak faham kenapa. Kami sesat bukan kerana tidak menjumpai particular shop ataupun ingin mencari barang, kami sesat kerana kami mampu masuk ke dalam Sunway Pyramid tu tapi tidak menjumpai jalan keluar ke Carpark. arrgghhhh....tension giler! Mau taknya, sudahlah terpampang besar nama level tu di mana-mana dalam Sunway Pyramid tu, pintu keluar pulak tak jumpa....iskh...iskh....memang hari sesat.

itu baru satu masalah selesai. selepas itu kami menuju ke rumah Lina. sesat lagi. adoi...! takpe. hari itu ajer kami sesat. insya allah kami takkan sesat lagi lain kali. hehehehehe(kerana ada kemungkinan untuk tidak lagi pergi ke tempat itu). -..."sesungguhnya Allah bersama dengan orang-orang yang sabar..."

apapun, gembira melihat Lina dan Khalid yang berseri-seri dan secocok dengan persalinan berwarna kuning. Memanglah raja sehari. Dahlah aku jumpa buah hati aku kat situ. hahahahaha. I was so happy. Ketensenan akibat sesat terus hilang apabila bercakap dengan budak itu. kwang. kwang. (Dia dah ada makwe. Jangan memandai!). Mcrose senyum sampai telinga. This heart belongs to that person who will never know that this heart really belongs to him. Yang budak tu admire jer. hehehehehe.

Aperpun, congrats Lina and Khalid! Sama cantik. Sama padan. =)

Monday, June 16, 2008

7 perkara

Saya ditag oleh Muni. sajer jer lah tu nak suruh jugak orang buat benda ni. tapi okay jer. sebab sekarang ni otak tengah tepu dan tidak mampu lagi untuk menghadap nombor yang sangat banyak

7 fakta tentang saya:

1) anak bongsu daripada enam adik beradik
2) satu-satunya yang dilahirkan di hospital. adik beradik saya yang lain semuanya dilahirkan di rumah. dilahirkan pada waktu subuh pada 25 April 1984.
3) bersekolah di kelantan dari kecik sampai besar. sekolah rendah di Sek. Ren. Dato' Hashim (1). my secondary school was Sek Men. Pengkalan Chepa (1). Walaupun saya mendapat tawaran untuk ke MRSM, saya menolaknya berikutan tidak mahu berpisah dengan mak dan ayah. hehehehe. Tapi terpaksa berpisah untuk ke Matrix UIA pada 2002-2003 dan ke UIA Gombak pada 2003-2006 and end 2006 until mid 2007 saya terpaksa berpindah ke Kuantan berikutan mengikuti perpindahan kuliah.
4) saya sangat suka muzik. kalau kedengaran enak di telinga saya, saya akan berusaha untuk bukan setakat mencari lirik tetapi juga akan cuba memahami dan membuat tafsiran saya sendiri tentang lagu dan lirik tersebut. bahasa apa2 pun boleh. pun begitu saya tidak mampu membezakan genre muzik di mana melodinya kedengaran lebih kurang sama. (suka buat benda yang tak berfaedah...bila nak insaf!)
5) saya sangat suka menonton movies dan dramas (selalunya korean dan japanese). saya boleh menghabiskan masa sepanjang hari dengan menonton siri kegemaran saya. I enjoy movies a lot. saya boleh menonton movie yang sama berulang kali kerana saya suka memahami apa dan mengapa skrip itu begitu. Contohnya: saya telah menonton Bourne (Identity, Supremacy and Ultimatum) sebanyak 8 kali. (Baru lapan kali). hehehehehe
6) saya sangat sensititif dan sangat senang menangis.
7) saya suka bermonolog. saya selalu risau orang fikir saya kurang waras kerana saya memang suka bermonolog. hehehehehe

7 perkara menakutkan saya:

1) gagal dalam hidup. hereafter and here.
2)keluarga saya tidak hiraukan saya---->saya sangat manja dengan keluarga (hehehehe)
3) lipas dan segala serangga yang mempunyai kaki macam lipas dan terbang....eeeeeiiii
4) orang marah saya
5) terasa hati kerana saya---->walaupun saya selalu sahaja buat orang di sekeliling saya terasa hati dengan saya.
6) hantu dan segala makhluk yang sewaktu dengannya
7) pretenders. men and women.

7 lagu buat masa sekarang:

Wow, cukup ke 7 ajer. hehehehe. I'll choose the best. Tapi semuanya lagu lama dan saya tak kisah biarpun orang kata lagu ni dah ketinggalan zaman.

1) Tong Hua- Guang Liang (lagu lama tapi saya mendengar dan meminatinya sekarang ini)
2) Daybreak's Bell - L'arc-en-ciel
3) Ashita Hareru Kana - Keisuke Kuwata---> OST Proposal Daisakusen (Operation Love)
4) Gojidmal (Lies) - Big Bang
5) Hikari - Utada Hikaru
6) Drink It Down - L'arc-en-ciel---> OST Devil May Cry IV
7) Sempurna - Andra and The Backbone---> kerana saya tak suka Gita (sorry cik Moon!)

7 perkara yang saya selalu sebut:

1) Ya Allah!
2) nandayo!
3) .........ek?
4) biar betol!
5) saje je!
6) aaa.....(contohnya...aaa, macam tu ek?)
7) tak senonoh betol!

7 perkara yang amat bernilai:

1) keluarga
2) tubuh badan yang sihat
3) otak saya
4) komputer n internet--->takder ni takleh buat keje ma!
5) contact lenses n spectacles
6) best friends and friends
7) harta benda yang saya ada sekarang

7 'pertama kali' dalam hidup saya:

1) melihat dunia 25 April 1984
2) 1993 - menang pertandingan melukis. sebelum ni asyik dapat nombor 3 dan 2 ajer.
3) 1995 - pertama kali menjejakkan kaki di holy land and berada di depan Ka'bah.
4) 2002 - staying far away from my beloved family. sebulan jugaklah homesick and call my mom coz I miss her a lot. uuuu...
5) 2002 and 2004- my first handphone---> nokia 3310. abang yang belikan. and my first laptop Prestigio. mak yang belikan.---> nak jugak bagitau. hei...betul apa. selama ini jauh dari family. I appreciate both things tu sampai sekarang. walaupun dah lunyai tapi masih lagi disimpan elok.
6) 2004 - my first work kat Seri Gombak. Jadi english teacher kat tuition centre. tapi quitted after a month and a half coz tak sempat nak prepare teaching materials. hehehehe.
7) 2008 - my first car-2nd hand wira aeroback. huhuhuhu...

7 blog yang dipilih:

1) lutfi
2) ceghah
3) muni
4) arshana--> sebab ada laruku!
5) kak izyan
6) mayat hidup
7) faisal tehrani

Prom night

Me and my office mate went to Capsquare which is around 10 minutes walking from our office. Actually, I'd no idea of the whereabout of the place. Luckily one of my colleague knew. We went there to watch movie actually because it was so boring to watch youtube in the office. The only available choice of movie at that time was Prom Night. A typical horror thriller movie and not suggestable for those who want something different. I like the boyfriend though. =)

Guess what, I bought ANOTHER new storybook. The Shakespeare's Secret. Haven't read yet coz I'm finishing my Frederick Forsyth's. It's progressing to page 90 right now. But still, I am not proud of myself. *sigh* =(

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The degrading interest in reading

Dulu saya sangat suka membaca buku. Walaupun mostly buku cerita dan lebih kepada mysteries and adventure, tapi pokok pangkalnya saya sangat gemar membaca. Buku cerita yang dibeli selalunya mampu dihabiskan dalam masa sehari. Dan selalunya saya akan membeli lebih daripada sebuah buku cerita. Hasilnya, berkotak-kotak buku di rumah adalah buku milik saya.

But, now it's a different story. Books are less amusing now. I still read them but not to the extent of having a book in 2-3 days. You name it. English or Malay novels, they do not entertain me like they used to. It's not that the books are not good. It's just me. With this degrading interest in reading books, I am afraid I will surely fall into the category--> people who read a book in a year. [Or is it a page?] I don't know.

I've bought two books. One was recommended by my nephew and the other one was a book that I bought out of my curiousity. With a lot of information in Wiki, of course. I bought them since like....umm....March[?]. But for the Malay novel (the recommended one), I think I'm reading page 10 right now and for the English novel...I think I'm stuck at page 16. *sigh*

This is not a good sign. Not at all. With the situation I am now [that requires a lot of reading], this is baaaaad! But somehow, can't help it. Seriously. uuuu.....zen me ban?

And the books are:
Tombiruo-->Ramlee Awang Murshid
The Day of the Jackal-->Frederick Forsyth

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Zodiac;signs

I've encountered quite a few entries discussing about zodiacs and signs. I don't really believe it somehow coz it's not because of those constellations that we are what we are right now. God has made you the way you are. Accept willingly and cherish what you have. Although you don't have pointy nose, well you're still lucky that you have one! Or maybe, you are not fair (i.e. skin) enough to be considered as lovely (you think you are not!), well at least you can go out and play under the sun.

What is there to be ashamed about? You are what you are. You can never be someone else. And BTW, being someone else is never satisfying. Not to yourself or even others around you. The zodiacs are just assumptions. Nothing more than that.

BTW, I'm a Taurus. Let's see what wiki wanna tell us about my physical appearance (which is not true at all----->for me la!).



Physical traits

Many astrologers believe that each of the zodiac signs has identifiable physical traits. Some believe Taurus to be one of the most physically attractive signs in the zodiac and they are usually good-looking individuals. Physically, individuals born under the sign of Taurus will tend to have a full, square or long face, small ears, a fairly large, rounded and dimpled chin, sometimes prominent foreheads, a short or pointy and turned-up nose, large and expressive eyes, glowing, opaque and light skin, full and well-shaped lips, small and even teeth, and thick, often curly hair. They are thought by some to usually be above average height and the women often possess a voluptuous figure, a swan neck and Grecian nose.




Banyakla ko punyer swan neck....hahahahahahaha.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Bijakkah Anda?

Bijakkah anda?
Ujian Dementia Betapa cekapnya anda!

Di bawah ada ( 4 ) soalan dan satu soalan bonus. Anda perlu menjawab dengan pantas. Anda tidak boleh mengambil masa, perlu menjawabnya segera. OK? Mari cuba , lihat sendiri berapa pantas dan hebatnya diri anda..... Ready? GO!!! (lihat bawah)


Soalan Pertama: Anda menyertai perlumbaan. Anda mengejar dan memotong orang yang kedua. Sekarang Anda ditempat yang ke berapa?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

Jawapan: Jika jawapan anda tempat yang pertama, sudah tentu jawapan anda salah! Jika anda memotong orang kedua sudah tentu anda mengambil tempatnya, tempat kedua!Cuba jangan lihat atas semula untuk soalan seterus.

Sekarang jawab soalan kedua, tetapi jangan ambil terlalu banyak masa seperti soalan pertama OK ?


Soalan Kedua:Jika anda memotong tempat orang yang terakhir, jadi anda di tempat...?
(lihat bawah)

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Jawapan: Jika jawapan anda tempat kedua terakhir, anda salah lagi.. siapakah yang terakhir, bagaimana anda boleh memotong orang yang terakhir?Adakah anda pantas dan cerdik?


Soalan Ketiga: Soalan kira-kira bermuslihat! Perhatian: Ini mesti dilakukan tanpa menggunakan fikiran sahaja . Jangan guna kertas dan pensil atau mesen kira-kira. Cuba lah...Ambil 1000 dan campur 40 . Sekarang campur lagi 1000 . Campur lagi 30 .... Campur lagi 1000 . Campur lagi 20 ... Campur lagi 1000 . Campur lagi 10 ... Berapa kah jumlah semua? Lihat bawah untuk ...jawapan..


~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Adakah jawapan anda 5000 ?Jawapan sebanar adalah 4100.Jika anda tak percaya gunakan mesin kira-kira.! Mungkin ini bukan hari anda kan ? Mungkin anda boleh jawab soalan yang akhir ini dengan betul ... Cuba.



Soalan keempat: Bapa Mary ada seramai lima orang anak gadis: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. Apakah nama anak gadisnya yang terakhir?


~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Adakah jawapan anda Nunu? Salah! sudah tentu Salah. Namanya Mary. Baca semula soalan!


Okay, cuba jawab soalan bonus: Sorang bisu pergi ke mini-market untuk membeli sebatang berus gigi. Dengan mengayakan lakonan memberus gigi ia berjaya menerangkan hasratnya kepada pekedai dan ia berjaya membeli berus gigi itu. Seterusnya, seorang buta pergi ke mini-market, untuk membeli cermin mata hitam, bagaimana dia menerangkan kepada pekedai itu hasratnya. ...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Dia hanya membuka mulutnya dan menyebut apa yang dihajati.


How was it?
The questions are quite good right?

Moral: Read the questions carefully.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Tree, Leaf and Wind: The Leaf part

Leaf

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves.
Why?Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long,
it will take a lot of courage.
During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy.
Not B-G-Relationship kind. We were just friends.
But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy.

The sourness in the heart can't be described by any word.
It's like 100 rotten sour lemons. Sourness to the extreme limit.
They were only together for 2 months.
When they broke up, I hid my strong sense of happiness.
But after a month, he got together with another gal.
I liked him & I know he liked me.
But why wouldn't he pursue me?Why didn't he make the first move?
Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
Time after time, the pain grew bigger.
I began to suspect that this was a one sided love.
If he didn't like me, why was he so good to me?
It was beyond what you would normally do for a friend.
Liking a person is very heart wrenching.
I can know his likes, his habits.
But his feelings towards me, I can never figure out.
You can't expect me to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side.
Care for him, accompany him, love him.
Hoping that one day, he will come & love me too.
It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me an sms.
I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.
Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up.
Sometimes, I wonder whether I should continue waiting.
The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanies me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me.
Everyday he pursuits me relentlessly.
From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart.
He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.
In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart.
I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave to a far away & better land.
Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departs is it because of the blowing Wind or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??

I'm loving it: the everlasting task...

uuuuu....i've started working. though still under probation but it's very indeed tiring and exhausting. not physically but mentally. well, if it's mentally tiring, it affects the body also right? i realize that it's been a while since i've updated my blog. Not that I don't have any intention of doing it but, it's just that I don't know what to write in it. Besides, the difficulties of finding the places in surfing the internet, limits me in doing it too.

Penat ah cakap omputih. Finally, the job is here and it's up to me now. There aren't many people in the department but thank God they are the friendly kind of people. As the job I'm doing right now is definitely not my field, these people are willing to teach me slowly and tell me how I should do it. Even my boss is very nice too. (forgot to tell you he's a kelantanese. a very nice man.) Uuuu....hari-hari penat. takper....Jia you! Jia you!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

aku memang dah lama tak tulis blog

Aku memang dah lama giler tak tulis blog. Tak sempat bercampur baur dengan tahap kemalasan yang maksimum. Aku lebih ralit dengan benda lain bila mengadap komputer ni. paham-paham jela kalau dah mengadap internet. rasanya sesiapa yang mengenali aku di UIA akan sangat mengenali aku yang sangat fokus kepada benda yang mengarut daripada benda yang berfaedah. brain lebih fokus kepada komik dan youtube. friendster pun dibuka bila rasa dah lama sangat tak buka.

Bila aku cakap kat kawan-kawan aku yang aku nak keje di Kelantan sangat ramai yang memberi sokongan. Thanx a lot friends. tapi hakikatnya mencari kerja di kawasan ini memanglah susah. aku selalu geleng kepala. aku selalu cakap kat mak aku..."che..last skali..adik mesti jadik cikgu kan?." Me..? Being a teacher? It sounds a bit weird and believe me...aku memang tiada niat untuk menjadi seorang guru. apatah lagi profesyen perguruan ini sangatlah memerlukan kesabaran yang tinggi. No...! I am not a patient girl. aku hormati profesyen ini and seriously I don't wanna ruin it with any of my attitude though my sister said that I suit to be a teacher. An ENGLISH teacher. hahaha...that's the worst part of my life. Not that I hate the subject. It's just that I am not good in explaining languages to other people. You know what I mean?

sejak akhir-akhir ini juga terlalu banyak idea datang mencurah-curah. teringat kenangan lama di mana hobi aku lebih kepada berkarya dan jadi mek jiwang. hahahaha...I'm good at writing u know.

Tree, leaf and wind : The tree part

This is a forwarded e-mail. It's a nice short story. I hope you'll like it.

Tree

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting.
I have dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U.There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare to go after her.
She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, and doesn’t have outstanding charm.She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her.
I really like her.
Like her innocent, like her frankness.
Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me.I'm afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish.I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her.
I felt that if she's my girl, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watched me chasing after gals, and I have made her heart cried for 3 years.
She wanted to be a good actress and I was a very demanding director.
When she saw me holding hands with my 2nd girlfriend, she just smiled.
The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut.
I purposely didn't want to think about the cause for her to cry but laughed at her the whole day.
When everybody went back home, she stayed alone crying in the classroom.She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something.
I watched her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her.
There was once when both of them quarreled.I know that based on her character she was not the type that would start off the quarrel.But I still sided with my girlfriend.
I shouted at her and her eyes were filled with shock.
I didn't care about her feelings and walked away with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laughed & joked with me like nothing had ever happened.
I knew that she was very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ached as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out.
After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her.She told me that coincidentally, she had something to tell me too.
I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together.
I know the guy.
He has been going after her for quite a while.
A very cute, full of energy, lively and interesting guy.
His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.
I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her.
When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it.
It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest.
I couldn't breathe.Wanted to shout but can't.Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry.
How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read an sms in my hp.
It was sent 10 days ago when I broke down and cry.
I haven't read it since then.

It says "Leaf departs is it because of the blowing Wind or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?"

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

currently

Book: The Ambler Warning , Robert Ludlum.
Satu Janji, Ramlee Awang Murshid.
Songs: Peach, Ai Otsuka.
Endless Story, Yuna Ito.
Hajimari No Kaze, (can't remember who sings da song)
Movie: Nana.
Drama series: Spring Waltz, Numb3rs, CSIs, The Man of the Vineyard.
Comics: Fruits Basket, Nana
Anime: Colourcloud Palace, Jigoku Shoujo 2.


Don't blame me. I've got nothing to do! =)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

sudah...

Presentation?
No more.

Assignments?
No more.

Quizzes?
No more.

Headaches during exams?
No more. hahaha...

Learning? Always....

The end of my undergraduate studies. =)
But learning...never ends. =)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

busy but...

I'm starting to get busy. With LOP classes and all of the assignments and quizzes and coming midterms, this is what the student's real life should be. Busy and enjoyable. So sad that I can't study Japanese and Mandarin anymore. Not anymore, but no enough time. But somehow, I manage to sleep early. Weird huh...? Well, maybe that's the reason why I can't find time to open my 'Buku Pelajaran Jepun' and 'Mandarin for Everyone'. Aiyak...Forget to photocopy Fatimah's book!

I'm hoping to improve my English this semester for we have to do a lot of conversation in English instead of Bahasa. Minna san, o-shite kudasai onegai shimasu! (n_n)V

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Pinjaman [?]

Pinjaman
Mata yang hitam pekat
Kulit yang putih bersih
Hidung mancung terletak
Bibir merah tersenyum manis
Bukanlah hak milik abadi
Hanyalah pinjaman

Pinjaman
Harta yang menimbun
Ilmu yang bergunung
Isteri yang tercinta
Suami yang tersayang
Juga bukan hak milik abadi
Hanyalah pinjaman

Pinjaman
Makin dipegang erat
Makin sayang untuk dilepaskan
Makin banyak memenuhi ruang
Makin sukar untuk diuruskan

Semuanya adalah pinjaman
Tiada yang milikan abadi
Tiada yang kekal.

p/s: Loan tak masuk lagi. Uuuuu...

Saturday, December 30, 2006

salam eid'...

Selamat Hari Raya Haji. Kepada yang tidak pulang, mungkin ada sebab yang munasabah ya. Petang ni bakal pulang ke kampung yang tercinta dan menemui bonda dan ayahanda yang tersayang. Doakan hamba selamat tiba nanti. By the way...What are you willing to sacrifice this year?
(n_n)v

The sky speaks...


Let me present you da colour of the sky in Teluk Cempedak. It was around 6-7 p.m. And I really love it...


The darker sky...


Suka yang ni...

CATERPILLAR!


Ada ulat yang sangat besar dan comel. Berduri-duri dan sedang bergerak sangat perlahan ke arah longkang. Masa ambil gambar ni, kitorang baru balik daripada cafe (food sangat okay!) nak tengok? Masa mula-mula tengok macam geli gak...

Mesti jadi BUTTERFLY yang cantik! Go CATERPILAR! (safe journey!) =)