serotonin

You think you're in love? wahahahahaha....wait another three years and see what happen. If you stay with him/her, then....it IS love beyond the chemical reaction and physical attraction that you were having three years ago. Or else, you were totally screwed up by this serotonin buddy who blinds you all the way through until one day you said to yourself...why the hell am I falling for this guy/girl again?

Yes...this serotonin plays important role in your changing mood [mind you that serotonin also has effects on your appetite, sleep and geeneral metabolism]. People in love has high serotonin level and thus it indirectly 'blinds' them. That's why no matter what you say about their partner, they will never be bothered. Serotonin just won't let go of this people. weird huh?
It takes 2-3 years for the 'love' serotonin to last. So, if after three years, you're still bearable with the same person, then say goodbye to serotonin cause this time maybe, you are truly in love. wahahahahahaha....

So, I think this serotonin buddy really plays me. Yup, maybe my 'love' serotonin level has come down to its bottom. wahahaha. I'm glad though. I don't know why, but I can tell like 10 reasons for not liking the same person that I used to like. hohoohohohhoho...playgirl type! Or maybe, it's not time for me to fall in love yet. I mean, with the right person. I believe, God has better plans for me and I believe Him. Whatever it is, I think I'll follow with what mclaa always says, go with the flow!

sources: Wiki

Rejection

I'm missing someone right now. The fact that he does not know that I miss him, is basically the most hurtful one. Well...he's somewhere in foreign land and never knowing that I like him is the most interesting part. Well, I've been...you know...advising my friends on showing their true feelings towards the one that they like but in reality is, I'm also afraid. Not actually afraid of being laughed or anything that can be some sort of it...it's just that...well...I guess a simple NO is the answer then. huhuhuhu...yes..being REJECTED is what girls and guys feared the most when it comes to confession.

We are human afterall. If anybody said that she can bear with being rejected, she's totally bluffing. Don't believe her. Maybe as time goes by, she can learn to bear with it. But at that particular moment, deep inside, she'll be embarrased, afraid and again...embarrased. What's playing in her mind then are these sort of ideas; 'Will we be able to become friends after this?', Will I be able to literally start any conversation with him again...?' bla bla bla... and oh 'What if other people know that I am being rejected?' <---[totally the scariest part] tsk...tsk...tsk...pity! But..that's what life is.

Let me tell you my opinion on rejection. This does not represent all okay...it's just me and me only:

1. Rejection level 1: [When You Say Nothing At All]
The smoothest rejection yet the most hated one. How can you recognize it? When he said....nothing. You confessed. You tell him how you feel. But the reply is...zero. It's like suddenly his mouth is zipped and he is mute. It's like your words are blown by the wind. huhuhuhuhu..
What do you have to do? Slowly erase him from your heart and find another guy. (n_n)v

2. Rejection level 2: [Words Don't Come Easily]
The double face rejection. For me, when a guy said 'We should stay as friends for the time being', actually he wants to say:
i. 'I have a lot of commitment for the time being, I don't want to have any serious relationship yet.'
ii. 'I don't want to be your boyfriend, but I want to be your friend.'
Either or, you choose.

3. Rejection level 3: [The Heartbreaker Kid]
The TOTAL rejection. He avoids your call. He doesn't want to know you anymore. No more sweet calls. No more good night messages. No more YOU in HIS world...if I can put it that way. If this happens, stay away from this parasite. He's nothing but a jerk! Ignore him totally. Find some other nice guys will you?

These are just what I think, a rejection will be. It's based on friends' experience and observation. I've been rejected once but that was years ago. At that time, I was just trying to win him back. But he said, 'We should stay as friends. Kalau ada jodoh, adalah,' which literally means I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore but I want to be your friend. Well, what's so bad about being friends with your exs? No harm will do, right? Let bygones be bygones. He's happy with his life right now and he's even getting married. I'm happy for him. Although, we are no closer than before, but that is what you need to sacrifice. Live happily okay!

It's been...

I think it's been a month since my last update. Not knowing what to write hesitates me to make a post in my blog. Besides, I've been on a busy track lately, filled with mostly unexpected work from the org. and definitely from my Chinese-look boss. I don't hate it. It's just.... I don't have extra time to make personal time as personal...if I can put it that way.

It's been a week in the blessed month and I don't think I've been better though I don't know whether I'm getting worse. It's still the same routine day by day; sahur, fasting, work, terawih, reciting al-qur'an and sleep as early as possible. I know I have to put up on something to make myself better than last year's Ramadhan but I don't seem able to do it. I mean, I know I am fasting but during the time, I waste it on something lagha. I go for terawih but I'll be sleepy throughout the prayer and wish it to end faster. I recite al-Qur'an but I don't really understand the meaning. And I definitely complain a lot about my work all the time. * sigh. I'm still a so-so Muslimah I guess. huhuhuhuhuhu. [Macam mana nak jadi Muslimah yang baik ni?]

It's been 2 weeks since I sent my parents to the airport. I miss them a lot though they call me frequently. They sound happy and I am so relieved that they are in good health there. Can't wait to see them in the next four weeks. [Lambat lagi...]

It's been quite sometime since my last hangout with my friends. I recently miss my friends especially Lina and Fadh and my schoolmates from Pengkalan Chepa. As for my another best friend, we're meeting today. Going to low yat to buy external. hahahaha...(n_n)v

So, that's it for this entry then.

Now she's gone...

The picture is from here

Another shocking death of one of the most aspiring director in Malaysia and Singapore, Yasmin Ahmad.
Rest in peace and our prayers are always with you.

The Masterpiece of Truth

I received an e-mail from a colleague called a masterpiece of truth. The contents conveyed much reality surrounding but I'll only share with you those which interest me most:

'These are the times of fast food and slow digestion

Big men and small characters

Steep profits and shallow relationships,

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce

Fancier houses, but broken homes,

These are the days of quick trips

Disposable diapers

Throwaway morality

One night stands

Overweight bodies

and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.'

But the one that attracts me most is:

'Life is not measured by the numbers of breath that we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.'

-George Carlin-

p/s: Nice! (n_n)v

Love Game

Entri ini tidak berkaitan dengan lagu Lady Gaga mahupun apa-apa lagu yang mempunyai tajuk yang sama [walaupun lagu tersebutla yang memberi inspirasi pada aku]. hehehehe

[This entry is not suitable for those who are currently dating someone, engaged to someone or has already become someone's wife or husband.]

Well I guess people just get involve in love game - unaware or not. With the kind of guys who had dark pasts and the one who cannot forget their previous girlfriends and ah...don't forget the ones that are 'supposedly' still searching but let the girls feel that they are the ones for them, yeah...girls nowadays tend to be indirectly suffering in such thing called the love game.

I don't know you, but for me, flirtatious people tend to give you too much compliment of yourself and makes you feel that you are the real special one for him or her [I guess my readers are not only girls]. Though most of the time, I think they don't even mean what they said and maybe it is not even their intention to make you feel different than the way you should feel, but it is still wrong. Giving compliment is okay, but you really shouldn't explain the compliment in detail. It's disgusting man!

If you (girls/guys) out there are still searching but already have a bunch of candidates in hand, make sure they don't know each other. Or else, that'll be the reason people will never trust you ever again. Besides, what's the point of giving false hopes to those guys/girls? If you want to start as friends, you should clarify that and make sure he/she understands. In the meantime, please behave i.e. friends are friends. There are no "more than friends but less than a lover" kind of thing. If the chemistry exists, then you take a step further i.e. confess, or I don't know, anything that can convey your feelings to him/her I guess. Afraid of being rejected? So what? It's life lady! You have to accept it. Or are you trying to be selfish i.e you'd rather hurt other people than hurt yourself? [ini yang nanti ada yang kena santau...kang padan muka ko!]

If you're already in a relationship, make sure it really means it. Jangan berlagak single okay. You're hurting people here. And another thing...please don't make promises you cannot keep. It sucks man! Now what...you like people to keep waiting for you? If it's unavoidable, then it's a different matter. Or else, just shut up!

Love game? Nah...I'm not interested at all. But if you're bored and feeling like being punched, come on! Bring it on!

Nak jugak masukkan lagu Lady Gaga walaupun takde kena mengena ngan entri emo ni:

Let's play a love game, play a love game
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game? Doin' the love game

p/s: entri ini takde kena mengena dengan yang hidup ataupun yang mati. So what? It's my entry okay!

Bad day

Have you ever said something to someone that you never really mean it? Harsh or not, have you ever regretted saying those words to those people? I do. And recently it happened a lot of times and I'm getting mad at myself for saying those words. I never meant most of the words that I said but regrettably, it HAS been said. What else can I do then? I can say sorry and I know I'll be forgiven for it but will the 'scratches' healed? Will we be able to be the same again? I mean, I've hurt someone, be it with or without intention of doing it. What happened has happened and it's not like I can bend time and go back to that time, can't I?

And now, it feels weird to be forgiven for the harsh words that I've said. Deep down inside I felt guilty and I promised myself to never ever speak like that again. But well, I'm still a mere human. Somehow I realized that my mouth speaks like it has a life on its own. It made me said every bad words of the world and now the only part of my body that feels guilty about it is my heart. I know it's a bad word but I said it even though I don't intentionally feel like saying it. waaahhh...life is so hard to explain.

Maybe at that time, anger made me said it. [so now, you're blaming on your temper?]. I guess I won't say anything bad if I'm not angry. But does anger permit you to say every bad things in the world to the person closest to you? Is bad temper a reason why you have a bad mouth? I guess that's why our Prophet said that temper is from the devils and you can cool it down with ablution and salawat on him. I guess I should do it when I'm having my bad mood or bad day or whatsoever bad it can be because it's really bad and it's not good at all.