Tree, Leaf and Wind: The Leaf part

Leaf

During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves.
Why?Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long,
it will take a lot of courage.
During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy.
Not B-G-Relationship kind. We were just friends.
But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy.

The sourness in the heart can't be described by any word.
It's like 100 rotten sour lemons. Sourness to the extreme limit.
They were only together for 2 months.
When they broke up, I hid my strong sense of happiness.
But after a month, he got together with another gal.
I liked him & I know he liked me.
But why wouldn't he pursue me?Why didn't he make the first move?
Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt.
Time after time, the pain grew bigger.
I began to suspect that this was a one sided love.
If he didn't like me, why was he so good to me?
It was beyond what you would normally do for a friend.
Liking a person is very heart wrenching.
I can know his likes, his habits.
But his feelings towards me, I can never figure out.
You can't expect me to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side.
Care for him, accompany him, love him.
Hoping that one day, he will come & love me too.
It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me an sms.
I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me.
Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up.
Sometimes, I wonder whether I should continue waiting.
The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanies me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me.
Everyday he pursuits me relentlessly.
From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart.
He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.
In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart.
I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave to a far away & better land.
Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departs is it because of the blowing Wind or because Tree didn't ask her to stay??