Bad day

Have you ever said something to someone that you never really mean it? Harsh or not, have you ever regretted saying those words to those people? I do. And recently it happened a lot of times and I'm getting mad at myself for saying those words. I never meant most of the words that I said but regrettably, it HAS been said. What else can I do then? I can say sorry and I know I'll be forgiven for it but will the 'scratches' healed? Will we be able to be the same again? I mean, I've hurt someone, be it with or without intention of doing it. What happened has happened and it's not like I can bend time and go back to that time, can't I?

And now, it feels weird to be forgiven for the harsh words that I've said. Deep down inside I felt guilty and I promised myself to never ever speak like that again. But well, I'm still a mere human. Somehow I realized that my mouth speaks like it has a life on its own. It made me said every bad words of the world and now the only part of my body that feels guilty about it is my heart. I know it's a bad word but I said it even though I don't intentionally feel like saying it. waaahhh...life is so hard to explain.

Maybe at that time, anger made me said it. [so now, you're blaming on your temper?]. I guess I won't say anything bad if I'm not angry. But does anger permit you to say every bad things in the world to the person closest to you? Is bad temper a reason why you have a bad mouth? I guess that's why our Prophet said that temper is from the devils and you can cool it down with ablution and salawat on him. I guess I should do it when I'm having my bad mood or bad day or whatsoever bad it can be because it's really bad and it's not good at all.